Build Up Boys Interviews Brian Recker, public theologian, speaker, and author of Hell Bent.

In this conversation, Brian Recker, a dad of three boys, a public theologian, former evangelical pastor, and author of Hell Bent Hell: How the Fear of Hell Holds Christians Back from a Spirituality of Love, breaks down how patriarchy doesn’t just harm women; it also shapes boys into narrower versions of themselves.

We talk about what it’s like to grow up inside a system that tells boys what “real men” are allowed to be, and how religion can reinforce that conditioning by framing gender hierarchy as “God’s design.” Brian shares his personal turning points—being labeled “metrosexual,” joining the Marines to prove himself, and eventually leaving evangelicalism when the Trump era made the moral contradictions impossible to ignore. From there, we get into what deprogramming actually looks like: learning to redefine strength, reclaim emotional range, and model a masculinity rooted in authenticity rather than dominance.

We also discuss the modern battlefield boys are entering online, where algorithms often feed misogyny early, and why dads must talk to their sons about feminism and misogyny directly (not leaving it to moms). If you’re raising a boy, mentoring boys, or trying to unlearn your own conditioning as a man, this conversation is for you.

His website: https://www.brianrecker.com/ Buy his book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo... Follow him on social media: https://www.instagram.com/berecker/?h...   / berecker87   https://brianrecker.substack.com/?fbc...